Tomek and Wacek 'wrong-way' voyage update: Odd clouds and corrupted Shogun

"I opened a bottle of Whisky and my perception sharpened"
 

DAY 239

Wed Oct 31 12:25:05 2007 UTC - 30 9.81 S - 38 53.20 W

The transmission does not spit out oil, the world again smiles at us, according to plan we will sail the Bahamas through the Panama Canal. Now I have to think about the oil radiator but with this we will deal calmly. Yesterday was an unusual evening; it was as if Mother Ocean wanted to reward us for the last few days of stress and inner turmoil. This unusual reward I felt even through the sheepskin of still tormenting me apprehensions and doubts connected with damage and with the cruise. The ocean smoothed over, I was intrigued by Wacek’s incessant barking, usually he barks at birds, but this time he barked differently. I looked in the direction he was barking and I saw a one-meter long tuna fish jumping from the water. It jumped from the water like a dolphin in an aquarium, and then it jumped again, still higher. Others swam not far away, their fins above the surface as if imitating dolphins. First they emerged the long, narrow like a knife, yellow fin, and then the black back fin, and so on. I tried to take a picture, but I was too slow for them ... I fought the huntsman instinct, although a part of me wanted to shoot one of them when it swam at ship's side, but this would be barbarity, like damaging a holy picture ... Then not far away some long narrow fins started to come to the surface, I thought that the tunas might be having a little "tete a tete" , but after a moment I saw a round shadow, right under the surface, it swam slowly in our direction. This was a turtle with a little fish pilot. I ran to get the camera, but before I returned, he was already swimming under Luka and I only caught his bum ... Then we had a performance of Shadow Lights. It was the setting sun that showed awesome pictures, changing them incessantly like a theatrical decoration ...

Ps: I enclose a little picture...

DAY 238

Tue Oct 30 11:34:33 2007 UTC - 30 12.63 S - 38 39.92 W

There is no wind, we drift and fix things on board. The shroud stopper is fixed, GPS-2 works. Now I’m praying over the transmission, my friend Martin, from Port San Luis, may he live forever, sent me instructions on how to get to the leaking gasket. I unscrewed the roller from the transmission, and then revolving it I pushed it about 60 cm to the outside. The flange shaft has a funnel shape and in it is a half-an-inch nut fastening the flange shaft to the roller of the transmission. We don’t have such a big wrench on board, so I used the universal Russian wrench, which consists of a hammer and chipper. The nut was almost hidden in the funnel of the flange shaft; I could cut it only in a little corner. It seemed somehow soft, I cut off already almost one corner, and it didn’t twitch. I felt despair coming over me. I sprinkled it with rust remover and for a few moments tapped it with a hammer. I thought that I have to really hit it otherwise it will not budge and I will only cut it off all around... I made a new indentation on the other side of the nut, I dulled the chipper a little, I concentrated on the end of hammer, I took the greatest swing which the narrow hole in which I lay would allow me and I hit, then again, the third time the screw budged. I felt relief, because this meant that we’re fighting further ... Knocking with great effort, I unscrewed the nut and I took off the flange shaft which fit on a jagged roller and its neck sealed by zimmering. When I took it off I saw a spring in the shape of a circle which normally is put on zimmering and, like a tie on a shirt, holds the gasket to the roller. I took it out, it looks undamaged ... I now wait for 7 in the morning in California, in order to consult with Marti as to the next step

DAY 237

Mon Oct 29 09:02:59 2007 UTC - 29 59.00 S - 38 30.12 W

There is almost no wind, we stand in drift. War with “dragons” goes on.

DAY  236

Sun Oct 28 08:49:55 2007 UTC - 29 46.77 S - 38 26.79 W

Today the outcome is 2 to 1 to change course to northern and sail to the Caribbean. The only working, and already fixed hardware on board is the autopilot and one GPS. We have no manual steering, for the second time the roller shaft is torn off, we have no engine. If for some reason the autopilot again will get hiccups, we will find ourselves in a very hard situation, and as it turns out, I am not able to fix everything. I could somehow make a radiator from a bucket of salt water to cool the oil, but in order to seal the roller it’s necessary to take out the transmission, take it apart and exchange the zimmering on the roller. Of course I don’t have reserve zimmering here. It’s also possible that the salt water destroyed the disks and the whole transposition needs to be exchanged. Luka is coming out from under my control ... I should stop somewhere to fix all these things ... Today I will call a friend in Port San Luis, who it repairs such transmissions and I will ask his advice, but I think I know the answer, short of a miracle happening... I will rock here for another twenty-four hours, tomorrow I will decide what to do with the “non-stop” in the cruise title...

DAY 235

Sat Oct 27 09:41:45 2007 UTC - 29 34.95 S - 38 46.80 W

Black Friday. In the evening I started the engine so it would lubricate. During an inspection I discovered that the hydraulic transmission box was filled with salt water to the brim. This is tragic news; the heat transformer had to have a manufacturing defect, all accessories of engine, pumps, and heat transformers, worked only 300 hours. At night this horribly strange squall pushed us almost to water, and a shroud stopper, fixed by me once before, broke again. GPS nr 2 does not work, wind generators do not load, one gas tank is empty. It’s somehow difficult for me to imagine sailing around Cape Horn without the possibility of dodges, standing on anchor and a sense of security that comes with efficiently working, strong engine, if we were pushed onto cliffs. I can fix the shroud stopper once again, but only in such manner as previously, we don’t have a stronger screw with eye on board, to which I might attach a turn-buckle. Yesterday I rinsed the transmission, first with fresh water, then twice with oil. The pressure in the filled with water transmission box caused the zimmering, which seals the shaft, to leak and now the engine oil almost trickles out. The wind is gone, I’ll open up a bottle today and gain some distance, tomorrow I will think about all this again.

DAY 234

Fri Oct 26 14:04:07 2007 UTC - 29 4.18 S - 38 2.81 W

Yesterday we caught a beautiful fish; it had to be about 10 kilograms. It was so colorful that it is difficult for me to describe the strange nuances of red textures with pomegranate and the explosions of other colors. Then I regretted that I killed it, but this is typical for me under the influence of justifications, the desire to kill it got the upper hand over mercy, I was strongly motivated by the smell of fish soup and fresh fish from a frying pan. This fish was so big that I decided to dry a part of it; I will later cook it with rice. The best pieces cleaned of bloody deposits, I cut into shapely strips, I soaked them in soy sauce for 10 minutes, then I laid them out on cardboard so that they would dry and today I hung them on little hooks from stainless wire, on front safety lines. And now for the bad news, for some reason both wind generators do not load, they turn slowly, as if they were turned off, something in their electronics is messed up, also GPS Nr 2 doesn’t work, it does not see the antenna. I have to find out more about the generators, I do not know what kind of electronics they have inside, the GPS I will take care of today, first I will change the antenna. Friends told me that Natasha Caban in road to California stopped in Ensenada and she stayed in “my marina”. I hope that you liked it there resourceful sea woman, and that sometimes you think about Slawek. We drank many bottles at this kei, and if distinctly we did not ask him to tell about the expedition from which they had just returned with the OLD ONE, where as one of three captains he lead the first Polish yacht the North Western route, he suddenly started to tell us about a certain beautiful girl who went on a solitary cruise around the world, he was very worried about her, he sighed with tearful eyes and it was apparent that his heart bled.  I am certain that this beauty he talked about, was named Natasha ... Thank you dear Natasha for the bird, don't suspect me ungrateful, but no bird would survive more than an hour on the territory of this little bandit, besides officer Wacek craps our deck so intensively that I do not keep up with cleaning. You understand that another thing which would crap could only worsen the situation. But I would gladly receive a little of this cucumber soup which you once mentioned...

DAY 232 and 233

Thu Oct 25 08:13:07 2007 UTC - 27 24.40 S - 36 37.79 W
 

October 25
 Weather like yesterday, we changed the course more to the south, from today we will be moving at a distance of about 300nm from the coast down, to the waiting for us Cabo De Hornos.

October 24

Weather and direction without alterations, nothing worth comment happened.

DAY 231

Tue Oct 23 10:50:53 2007 UTC - 26 27.96 S - 33 29.14 W

Yesterday I looked at the manhole on deck and I remembered that the one in the second cabin leaks. Once I put an old jib on the sleeping-berth right under it, so that the drops of water would flow to the floor. There is a screwed on and probably glued, solid frame from tic to the deck, and to it the aluminum  "door-frame"  of manhole is attached with only stainless screws. I unscrewed it efficiently, then with a spatula, I got rid of the old, and happily, put on the new and I screwed on the frame with “new" a little greater screws. Beside me “bared teeth" another manhole to the main cabin, so I repeated the whole process and sealed also that one. There is still one more in this part of yacht, manhole to the fore cabin, but this one is screwed on directly to the deck and I don’t have anyone who could hold the nuts from the inside. If I was desperate I could do this myself, but it would take me half a day, and besides this one doesn’t leak. The manhole covers should be sealed new every few years (depending on the seal used); these two won’t leak any time soon. Like on call today it’s been raining since morning, sometimes it pours, the wind then dies, poor sails trash around on a dead wave, but then the wind returns and then again it rains ... It’s raining again, I cannot hear the "groaning  sails" anymore, I will undress   to pants and I will go take them down. I returned wet, but I didn’t wet my clothes hehe, at Capo De Hornos such a trick will probably not work ... Wacek is under house arrest. A small, pitifully looking bird, the size of a sparrow with wet feathers tried to sit somewhere on deck, but of course bandit Wacek chased it all around the deck, as if his life depended on it. Now he will sit downstairs, until our guest will dry...

DAY 230

Mon Oct 22 11:39:33 2007 UTC - 25 48.21 S - 32 42.85 W

Calm whistling of generator woke up me up, we have wind. The sun joyfully advanced from behind the horizon, I put on water for coffee and more from habit, than necessity I checked positions. Yesterday, 6 miles north of us a general cargo ship came to a halt, he could weigh some 10 000 tons. I looked at it closely, it looked like it needs new paint, the old one would fall off in great pieces, and it steamed unmercifully from chimney before it stopped. I called him a few times on the radio, but he didn’t reply, maybe the whole crew, together with captain was helping the mechanic exchange rings on some press. I think they were unsuccessful, or there was more to exchange than one press, because when in the evening they lit their machine, from chimney burst a cloud of gray smoke, the general cargo ship slowly budged, but the streak of smoke stretched over the horizon. I invented a new meal, I mix flour with water for dough, I flatten it with fingers pouring on it a little flour, then I lay bits of fried bacon from a can, I cover that with the second bit of dough, I stick it together like ravioli and I toss it onto the frying pan. It comes out something hard to describe but edible like bread with bacon...

DAY 229

Sun Oct 21 16:39:57 2007 UTC - 25 36.90 S - 32 23.38 W

There is still no wind, the dead wave also died. Mother Ocean floats us mildly and it strokes us with drowsy splashes. Yesterday I got a letter from a colleague; he wrote about his cruise at the north eastern USA coast, he also mentioned the dramatic pontoon landing at the Fishers Island. This reminded me of another landing on the beach, in bay San Quentin, on the southern coast of Mexico. My brother visited me then, he flew out from Poland. I still see him, how he looked around in Tijuana searching for me, in the crowd of people waiting at the border, and all the while trying to fend off the importunate Mexican taxi-drivers, among words incomprehensible to him, trying to pull him into a taxi, his guiltless smile and the Polish, mouthed through the teeth "get the f .. .out of here' - I laugh at the memory even today. Or his joy, when I got “Mariachis” in some bar in Ensenada, to play for him. They surrounded Mirek in a circle and evenly like a strike of a thunderbolt, they entered with three trumpets, two pairs of fiddles, a great, like a contrabass bass guitar, guitar and little guitar that sounded like a banjo. I saw the joy in his eyes and a fire that this splendidly playing band of well-educated musicians lit up in his susceptible soul ... My charming wife also went on this cruise, we went to eat spiny lobsters on a distant of about 220 miles to the south island Guadalupe, we traded there with fishermen head to head, a can of beer for a spiny lobster. Then we returned to the continent and threw anchors in charming San Quentin. We had to supplement our supplies of Tequila; we also wanted to just be lazy. Beata as if feeling something decided not to go with us this time. When we sailed away, I did not pay attention to an innocently looking battery of waves and almost already on the beach both of us were thrown from the pontoon like from a catapult, and the pontoon itself was covered. On the way back, when we tried to sail through the battery of waves, Mirek jumped in the pontoon too early and again was thrown like from a diving-board, this time somehow he hit his head at the bottom, knocked out his tooth, and got two black eyes ... Hehe. I shouldn’t laugh at this, but he looked comical ... He survived this adventure in good form but alas a year later he did not survive a stroke ..., well, at least before he went on his "last cruise" , I got him away from his sofa, he tasted fresh spiny lobsters, crude oysters and battery of waves in San Quentin. I feel distinctly that he’s comfortable where he is, he also liked to dream, and each of us when we die, goes where we imagine we go. I feel sorry for people in who was instilled a sense of guilt and belief in this psychopathic nonsense about hell, devils and the manager fiend Lucifer, they don’t have an easy road. Being from nature sinful beings, they pass their lives in continuous fear and if someone doesn’t convince them in time that God is not angry with them, they will find themselves in a hell they created for themselves and they will remain there until they will free themselves from this illusion, they will "fry" ... Robin Williams, one of the better actors in general, and a very aware man, made a film titled: "What Dreams May Come", a title hard to translate but its substance comes down to this question - "what can result" from our imagination and dreams. Besides the drama taking place in the movie, it also shows in a pastel manner, the truth about going to the other side and the principle influence that our own imaginings have on the place where we’re going ... Because everyone goes exactly where they think they’re going, when drowning in personal illusions. Fear of death is a whip stranded from ignorance by sleazebags with peacocks in their gardens. They use the whip, throw a carrot and promise something, which they can neither give nor take back, because except the illusion they support for ages now, they only have soiled pants, broken teeth and whatever they can get feeding on human fear. Telling the beautiful and ideal creations of the Ideal God, who created them in his own picture and likeness, that from birth they are dirty and smelly and only the dipper of water spilled by some little man can correct this mistake, is plaintive arrogance.

In a conspiracy of silence, it is not mentioned that the New Testament was not sent on the wings of an archangel, but edited by a declared unbeliever, never baptized (baptized after death, but it is rumored even then he said he did not want it), worshipper of Osiris, Emperor Constantine. Together with his gang, in the second half of the IV century, he put all sheep in one great farm and he enclosed it with human fear. Of course not being a fool himself, he never entered it, and on guard he put bound in crooked mirrors the image of God, gave him a body, put a shepherd's stick in his hand, twisted his face menacingly, assigned to support a pack of barking mongrels and ordered to guard his herd ... He made fools of people, he created their god in their own likeness. However, across this nonsense, incessantly shows up the genuine countenance of God, who like miraculous news brought us Jesus. The picture of unconditional, limited with nothing, incessantly directed at us love. Love is giving and forgiving, besides what would our Good God have to forgive us, we are not in standing to do anything that might offend Him, because how exactly a little piece of carbon on earth lost in the recess of Milky Way, would be able to offend God, who created this boundlessness in the most imperceptible particles... Jesus once communicated to us the thought of God, he said - "you are like an ideal day, and the light you carry in yourself will never go out” (sailor’s translation). So, what is there to fear.. I think about Mirek and I know that he sails now on his ideal, twenty-meter yacht, with flat deck and full sails. He smiles at me as if saying, see, this is what a yacht should look like, and not like yours with so many windows which can brake, mine will withstand any weather, but I ordered the good weather for your greenhouse, sail without fear brother .. ..
 

DAY 228

Sat Oct 20 11:12:15 2007 UTC - 25 29.81 S - 32 33.02 W

The wind went away somewhere, again the only noise is the creaking of the yacht, the working on a dead wave trunk. I started to take down the mainsail on a roller whose cable I always cover on windward winch and I felt that it turns unnaturally heavily. I stopped to turn it fearing that it will tear off, this is a big winch. I went to the bow, I tried to turn roller by hand, but it turned like usual. I returned, I put the cable of the roller on another winch, it turned out then, that our deck Samson "froze" , budging of crank on first running demanded abnormally great force. After twenty minutes I got into its belly and I discovered, not for the first time that this is the result of my own "fuck-up" . The casing of winch has three gaps: drain-pipes which should re-direct marine water, if it got there, I of course thoughtlessly sealed the whole base of the winch. The salt water trapped in the casing, created this macabre duet with the grease and it came out like this whitish, aqueous jelly filling almost every inch the base of the winch. All modes turned in aqueous greasy substance changed in places into lumps of crystallized salt. I thought about taking a picture of this little monster .. ..At the beginning I used a narrow spatula, then a broad screwdriver, then I poured in a bucket of water. Next a little brush went in motion and again bucket of water. With a drill I drilled through the sealed drain-pipes, then for an hour I freed the modes and all floating parts from the sticking grayish greasy substance and again water and brush. When the inside of the winch got dry, I covered it all with fresh grease, I put it back in the base, I started to turn it while pouring oil into the long main part with nest on crank, counting that it sets it in motion ... After a half hour my muscles were hurting and I gave up, now the winch turned slightly better, but still too heavily. If in a couple of days the oil will not penetrate the "ill place" , I will take it apart again and we will repeat the process ...

DAY 227

Fri Oct 19 09:14:01 2007 UTC - 25 42.34 S - 32 17.41 W

About 8 am from the west came a great dark cloud, I expected that as usual the wind will blow from under it, but suddenly it became silent, sails started to trash on the wave left over. The autopilot started to scream that in such conditions it cannot keep course. I looked at the main compass, it showed 40*, I looked at the second, this showed 330, something here was not right ... I turned on the GPS plotter and this showed our real course 240*. I made sure that no metal object got in the neighborhood of both compasses. Now it was clear, both compasses went crazy ... After 20 min the wind appeared, we budged. I checked the sails, when I returned to the wheelhouse the compass craziness passed, again both showed 5* more than the real course on GPS. I remember that something like this happened to us already on the eastern Indian Ocean ...Maybe we were sailing over the chakra of the earth, or maybe some magnetized UFO had its green stubby fingers in this

DAY 226

Thu Oct 18 12:38:45 2007 UTC - 25 5.34 S - 31 10.00 W

We have fresh wind from north-western direction, we go with sharp half-wind, under bit of foresail and mizzen-mast, maybe later I will put up the mainsail. How splendid it is not to have obligations, how great it is to "not have to" . I will put up the mainsail, if I want to, and if I don’t want to I won’t. There’s nobody who would suggest it with even the least gesture. There are no suggestive phone calls or emails from sponsors, I don’t have to be nice to Mr. Machujski from Wachocka, because he gave me 1000 zl for two pumps ... I don’t have to hear the opinions of cretins trying to push us, free like dolphins sailors into the networks of moronic rules and in the paws of this gray-bearded authorities of sailing which they experienced from the altitudes of 10 meters above the seas on immovable deck and in books written by these buffoons. I also don’t have to deface the perfectly white sides of Luka with some market labels. I only do what I want and what I consider good, and therefore only that which causes me pleasure. Each morning I wake up expecting something pleasant. In this moment we are situated perhaps near the place called freedom ... It’s too bad that Tomek Cichocki chose the sponsoring route and looks like this little monster created by him got him in the end ... Now from the perspective of my own preparations, if I would want to sail the world in direction W-E, non-stop, I think that being in USA 30 thousand dollars would be enough. The cruise wouldn’t be as comfortable as on the Luka, but it would be enough for an old , however well built, plastic yacht with the full keel (almost the whole trip with wind). Yacht 35 stop (-+$ 18 thousand) two stays for twin jibs ($100 for one jib, reserve mainsail - $150) two used autopilots ($150 for one), two put together from parts wind generators ($40 for one), one 75W sun power battery ($350), manual GPS ($50), chartploter with exterior antenna GPS ($250), small generator on gas Honda 1KW ($250), manual desalination device ($150), shortwave radio with box antenna and with knick-knacks, ($300), radio VHF with antenna ($100), cable ($300), Lexan 3/8 inch for the exchange of all windows and manholes ($300), sealers 420 and 520 ($100) fee for the place of where the yacht is during preperations ($2000), life on yacht during preperations ($1000), stainless nib for the exchange of all stays ($500), the instruction of tying the nibs (12 bottles of beer), compass ($50), 2 pumps, one with alarm ($200), accumulators - 1 starting for engine ($60), four 6V used for golf carts, on yacht as "house" batteries ($320 ), stainless screws, nuts, screws ($150) borrowed from me Iridium satellite telephone with computer for communication, extraction of weather and with navigational program with all the ports in the world ($0). There’s left over money for other knick-knacks and unforeseen things. The given prices refer to the brands on ebay (internet auction sale in US), of yachting scrap-heap in Florida, outlet stores Westmarine which sell in a few scattered US locations, commodities called "Open pack" which means things returned by clients and for this reason things that can not be sold as new and therefore sold at considerably lowered price ... We also take into account that the yacht captain installs everything himself. It is possible (not taking into consideration folks above average) that, MANY working, determined, VERY frugal Poles, without, or with feeble English can save 30 thousand dollars in US in the course of 3 years. I gave these numbers, in order to turn your attention to the fact that "making requests" is not the only way of making dreams come true and mainly, on precisely this road we have a chance to not only fulfill our dream, but also find ourselves. "Expedition for gold, is God’s way to send us on our way .. ."
 

DAY 225

Wed Oct 17 11:33:33 2007 UTC - 24 24.06 S - 29 57.24 W

It’s still beach weather. Yesterday was less productive, we considerably lessened margin on the mandrel fastening servo-motor with the main part of helm, generator again works, although I can’t in good conscience say I fixed it, I changed oil, our Hercules, main engine also got fresh oil... I like engines, I like looking at them, I like listening when they work, I had to get this in my genes from my older brother Antos who except for the mad idea of building a motor boat in a two room apartment, because of which it was necessary to take out window frames so this pampered by winter evenings toy somehow we would get out (he stated that the place of building the boat has to be near the house, not to lose time on journeys, hehe, strange in which manner he made my mother agree with him ...) So except for a few strange things he loved engines. Once just for pleasure he did in our garage the fundamental repair of the car engine of his friend. This was his hobby, then he listened to the regular, even rattling and the noise of turning rived-beds, the engine – given a new life. His Wartburg he treated like a mistress, we children, except for family departures, were forbidden to come close to this black beauty, although it happened that my mother with a friend sneaked the car out and went shopping... Generally, engines like all of God's creatures should be loved and cared for, patted and praised, and then if something has to brake it will break at the gas station or at home.

... Our little deasel engine had to have been treated very badly in the past, but it slowly changes its moods and soon it will stop sulking. I worry about Natasha, she offensively calls her engine " the little feeble market" .... Such perspective can lead to incessantly clogged filters, early screaming of the bearing of water pump, and incessantly breaking wedge belts. But oh well, women are in general not technically inclined, it’s difficult for them to perceive the beauty of skimming belts and hear the music of evenly ticking valves ...
 

DAY 224

Tue Oct 16 09:54:33 2007 UTC - 24 20.65 S - 29 53.64 W

Complete silence. Since yesterday I fight with the generator, in the fuel sytem again appeared air, like a bug, this persecutes us from the beginning. Every once in a while, without visible (for me) reason, the generator slows down and stops. I then turn on the installed for such occasions little pump in the fuel system, and I de-aerate filter fuel, then injection pump and our little friend after a brief cough starts again. Alas after some time it stops again. I thought about different options already and many times I searched for the treacherous place in the fuel system. I passed by almost all valves and connections with by-pass and nothing changed. Only pump in the engine remains which gives fuel to injection pump and connecting conduits. This I will look over today ...
I read a few last reports from Natasha Caban’s cruise, I’m really glad that everything with her is OK. Both I and Wacek wish her always water under keel and moderately strong winds.

DAY 223

Mon Oct 15 07:57:31 2007 UTC - 24 19.20 S - 29 53.55 W

Silence afloat, we are rocked by a dead wave from the east. For this occasion I will today again take care of the main part of helm and maybe I can lessen still the margin on mandrel fastening the servo-motor.

DAY 222
Sun Oct 14 09:43:25 2007 UTC - 24 7.96 S - 29 32.36 W

Lately the wind takes on the bad habit of turning to the south at about 3 in the morning, after an hour it returns to eastern. Besides that the weather is nice, but there are no fish here, and the mermaids were also a fairy tale ... ...

DAY 221
Sat Oct 13 10:16:07 2007 UTC - 23 47.40 S - 28 26.07 W

Wind and direction without changes. Yesterday was a debauchery day. It started with some adversity in the kitchen, we have on board multitudes of canned sausages, but they are not very good, they lack any taste, as if someone cooked them for a week and changed water every two hours. So I thought that I would make thin crepes , put two sausages in each, add a few strips of bacon, and a little stinging paprika, and then all that I would fry and I will have pancakes with sausages ... Unfortunately in spite of adding a ton of eggs in powder the pancakes were falling apart, so they ended up overboard, and the tasteless sausages with bacon and paprika in the pot are pretending to be stew. Disappointed and sweaty from standing in the hot kitchen, I sat down in the steering room and opened a beer. I thought about the cigar which I got once in Port San Luis from a colleague who just had a daughter, this is a custom in the USA that a father after the birth of a child presents his friends with cigars. It was a giant caricature of a cigar, it was in the cupboard, still in its cellophane. Something made me crave it, maybe this defeat with pancakes, I went to get it. I sat down in the steering room, I cut it in half and lit it. With great trouble I quit smoking a good 5 years ago, and now, when for the first time since that time, I inhaled, I felt great pleasure, after a second drag along with a sip of beer, I was pleasantly lightheaded ... I felt like I met up with an old lover, and even though I know that this connection is damaging for me, and that there is no future for us, now, this one time I let her once again passionately hold me. I lit the second half of the cigar and opened another beer, we had a splendid time listening to a book about the first white colonists of Africa. Then I opened bottle Whisky and perception sharpened even more, now the heroes of the tale, seemed fearless and ideal, and the aborigines fighting for their right to live altogether black .. .. I threw out the remainder of the cigar overboard, drank up the glass of whisky, it got dark, the entertainment was over. Time to turn on the generator ...

DAY 220
Fri Oct 12 11:47:31 2007 UTC - 23 39.83 S - 27 22.99 W

At night the wind weakened and turned to southern, the mainsail shook giving to understand that it didn’t like it. I changed course about 30* so I would avoid maneuvering at night with the wishbone boom, but it looked like the wind kept turning. It was 3 am, so I took down the mainsail and the remainder of the night we sailed under one marching foresail.
I think I found a neatly formulated reason which causes most people to feel a lack of things they desire in life and hankering to whom they would want to become. The cause lies in the irregular hierarchy of things pushed on us by society. To have - to Do – to Be ..., I have to have more money in order to buy a sea-worthy yacht and then I will be happy ... Most people think that only when they will have more time, money, etc ..., only then they will be able to do what they desire and be happy. In reality, all depends on what we think about ourselves and all then results from that. Our thoughts are the causes of our actions, and this directly affects the activity of the surrounding world ... Cause and consequence. This thought appears as the first and from it like from grain grow things and our own world. To begin this act from „I have” , is like planning, „that when in the end I will already catch the fish, then I will be able to do what I love, sit over the water with a fishing-rod in one hand and with cold beer in the other, and then I will be happy” . We should place these words in a different order; to be-to do-to have. In accessible manner for everyone is a prayer, self-suggestion, belief in oneself ... We should first control our overwhelming fear which limits us and closes us, like a chained to the leg lead sphere, and let our dreams lift us high, and see ourselves as happy, smart, compassionate, rich etc .. To believe in this new picture of oneself, because if anybody can be such, because if being such someone is possible, then I will precisely be that person! And then under the influence of this picture we will begin to behave happily, wisely, rich ... And decisions which we will make based on that and in support of it will cause us to reach the things we always wanted ...

DAY  219
Thu Oct 11 08:07:33 2007 UTC - 23 33.50 S - 26 3.09 W

Wind and direction the same, nothing worth describing happened

DAY  218
Wed Oct 10 11:57:35 2007 UTC - 23 26.48 S - 24 39.80 W

Day like yesterday. We sail quietly, the sun shines, fish fly, birds hunt on fish and the fish ignore us. I’m dreaming about fish soup ...

Ps; Excuse this “handicapped” betrayal on the site, the password is already changed, although...my blessings…

I also think that everyone should know their place. If I don’t have legs I will not be announcing that to all the world and order those with legs to walk slower ... Etc.
 

DAY 217
Tue Oct 09 10:22:05 2007 UTC - 23 12.32 S - 23 4.78 W

Weather without changes, for my taste we could sail even slower, we are as before a month early. Lately I read a few reports about circling Cape Horn and perhaps I did it unnecessarily, because there were terrible dramas in all of them and I’m beginning to be afraid. Now I will have to get rid of this fear, while it’s still little ... For a few days now I check the weather on the Horn, “it does” evenly 8-9 B straight from the west and the wave is probably banked up on shelf. Let's hope that in 6 weeks Mother Ocean will smooth out the sea, appease the wind and permit us to enjoy the sight of Cape Horn. Amen. 
The wind turns and it becomes more gentle about 55*S up, but from Cape Horn at a slant to 55*S and at least 75*W is a good 400 miles, in order to sail them we will need 4 days of friendly weather. For a few days now I’ve been putting together a plan of sliding around Horn, and right now it looks like that if we go around the States Island and the weather will be bad (please NO) then in spite of the broken lift, we will stay on anchor at island Picton, or Lennox, and we will move the distance of -+ 60nm to the Cape when a window of good weather will open up. The anchor is plan “B” if we do not happen on good weather. Plan "C" is the Magellan strait, but I actually do not know if that would mean that we would have to deal with Chile authorities and if sailing alone we would get permission going that way, and the almost 400 miles of solitary navigating in narrow canals does not look attractive. I have to care about my emotional state and come up with even more options – otherwise I would have difficulty with conquering my own fear. Creating plans "B” and ‘C”... And at the same time concentrating every accessible resource to make sure plan "A" works out , is the best way I know of to fight that voice in my ear , whispering "no , leave this, it won’t work, you won’t make it" . When however it happens, (thank God not too often) that I am not able to come up with alternate solutions, and this evil begins to tug on my shirts and whisper its nonsense, I begin to think about it as something alien, something from outside and I merely tell it "get out", usually it helps for a time, then I need to repeat the “magic word”.